So tonight as I started to work out of my 12 step book I felt strongly that what I needed to do was first post on here, so here I am!
I wanted to share what I am doing right now, kinda like New Years resolutions, but has nothing to do with January 1st.
- I am praying at night with my babies, I have 2 children under the age of 5,
- doing a genuine scripture study with all my kids involved (I have 5 kids)
- implementing a bedtime routine, doing a quick clean in the house, with a reward that if we do it faster then the time we set, we will use the extra time to play a family game
- I am reading 3 stories to my babies, brushing teeth with them, praying with them, then cuddling for 30 seconds
- I am getting up from the table at dinner time when I am full, and spending the rest of "their" dinner time preparing my meals and the dinner for the next day. This is showing me that I count too.
- I changed my children's daycare so that I can pick them up every day at 5 on the nose. So I can spend some quality time with them. I was a stay at home mom till this year. When everything came out he made comments about leaving and never looking back - thus I am in school right now and making myself able to do whatever it takes to take care of my family - and I really miss my kids!
- my goal starting tomorrow is to find something I can do with my older kids everyday after I pick them up. We should have an hour before my husband gets home. I want some good quality time...
- at nights after everyone is in bed I am spending my time studying out of my 12 step book, and other good books.
Right now my husband is distant and it makes me anxious. But I am trying to let go and let God. I sits hard. Codependency dies hard. But I am trying to trust God to take care of my husband. And if our marriage survives I will love it. But I don't want it to survive in the state it is in. I want more. So for now I am going to kill my own buffalo, and pull my own wagon. I am ready to be a pioneer woman :)
Happy new year!
May the Good Lord bless you and keep you. You are showing great faith! I pray that your husband will come to his senses, also. Lots of love to you!
ReplyDeleteI don't think either of us have ever been aware of how much I have enabled /tried to help him with his recovery. He is a good man. He is trying hard to support me. But right now I can't give him anything. To figure out where I end and he begins I am taking a break completely. And I feel imense guilt. I feel it isn't fair to him, especially when he's been sober for 8 months to take away all intimacy. But when praying it is something I feel very strongly about is the best for ME. Which is hard because I have always gone with what's best for him/ us. He is struggling right now but not talking about it- and I assume it is to support me that he isn't talking about it. I expressed my gratitude tonight to him, and my hope that he will hang in there.
DeleteI love the idea of setting a timer for chores and the extra time can be used for a game. My household is a nightmare right now when it comes to that ugh. So thanks for the idea!
ReplyDeleteI love your faith. Keep that up. It's inspiring to hear:-)
The timer is working great, and doing it nightly is making it go so much faster! Originally it was 5 minutes per room (living room, kitchen and bathrooms, during bathrooms we split into 2 teams to cover both bathrooms) if the timer ran out we stopped, and moved to the next room. Then I gave the kids 15 minutes for their bedrooms. After a week of doing it tonight it only took 4 minutes to do all 3 rooms. Then 7 for their bedrooms. And I get to go to bed with a clean house! Priceless....
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